


After Sunrise

by e_cat



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: But whatever, Canonical Character Death, Gansey and Declan are there pretty briefly though, Hurt/Comfort, I basically wrote this so that I could have the end of it happen, I personally think this is pretty subpar, M/M, Oops, also I don't think this is angst, and Ronan hardly does anything, but it's not really fluff either, is there a word for something that's between fluff and angst?, oh - well at least in this case I guess it's hurt/comfort right?, there should be - I think I write that an awful lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 19:17:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8545876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/e_cat/pseuds/e_cat
Summary: Aurora's funeral has been planned. Ronan is not dealing with it.





	

They were holding the funeral on Thursday. Adam had had to get the information out of Gansey, who’d had to get it out of Declan. Ronan hadn’t acknowledged that it would be happening at all, let alone that he knew what day it was on, but Adam hadn’t really thought that he was going to. It was Ronan’s way of coping, or not-coping, and Adam could only sit beside him and let it happen.

As much as he might have wanted to stay constantly at Ronan’s side, however, he knew that that wouldn’t work for either of them. Ronan needed space; Adam needed to work. Even on Wednesday night, he had to go in, putting in several extra hours to make up for the ones he’d missed the previous week. When he got back late, tired to the point of nonsense, he was asleep before he could think about what the next day would be, or whether Ronan might be by.

In the morning, Adam was preoccupied with the usual thoughts of school – how to fit homework into his work schedule, or how to fit work into his homework schedule – and so it didn’t come to him right away. And then it did – _it’s Thursday, and Ronan is burying his mother today_ – and every other importance bled away.

For six seconds, Adam was frozen in place, trying to turn his brain into something that knew how to deal with this. Six seconds, and then he decided that it didn’t matter if he knew what to do. He shoved his homework into his bag with uncharacteristic roughness, and as an afterthought, he snagged his suit – Ronan hadn’t told him to come to the funeral, but he hadn’t told him not to come, either, and Adam wanted to be ready for any possibility.

He was at Monmouth in record time, and at any other moment, he might have smiled at the fact that Ronan had missed him breaking the speed limit for once. Now, however, he simply took the stairs two at a time and didn’t bother to knock before lifting the door out of the lock. He thought he might look frantic, but he thought it was a good time for it.

“Adam,” Gansey acknowledged from where he knelt in front of Opal on the couch, apparently trying to convince her to put on shoes. Declan was lurking off to the side, having a terse conversation with someone on the phone. No one seemed surprised to see him.

Adam tried to remind himself that there was air he could breathe. “Where’s –”

But Gansey had already anticipated his question, because he gestured to Ronan’s closed door. “The service is at eleven,” Declan added, tilting the phone away from his mouth for a moment. “He can be there any time before that.” Then his expression turned sour, and he said “No, not you” into the phone as he turned away.

Adam briefly entertained the idea of hesitation, but his feet moved faster than his thoughts, and he was opening Ronan’s door before he could think to question why he’d been assigned the task of assuring that Ronan was on time. He eased the door shut behind him, and then he finally paused.

On the bed, Ronan was lying on his back. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and everything about him looked wrong. It took Adam a moment to realize that was what he was most unsettled by was the lack of sound – for possibly the first time ever, Ronan’s headphones were not pouring soundwaves over his sheets.

For longer than Adam knew what to do with, he just stood there, watching from the door, waiting for Ronan to move or give some sign that he knew Adam was there. But Ronan didn’t do a thing; he just kept staring at the ceiling, like it might turn into a portal to a better existence, and he didn’t want to miss his chance to go through.

Finally, Adam gave up on waiting, and he forced his body back to the physical world instead. Very slowly, he crossed the room, watching Ronan for a reaction all the while, though he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t see one. He paused in front of the bed for just a minute, and then he crawled over Ronan’s legs to settle on the other side of him. Again, he paused, sitting over Ronan and waiting for Ronan to do something. Again, Ronan didn’t move, and so again, Adam moved for him.

Slow as a shuddering breath, Adam lowered his head onto Ronan's chest. With one hand, he gave Ronan’s waist a loose hug, and he found one of Ronan’s hands with the other. He could hear Ronan’s heartbeat in his ear.

“It’s not your fault,” Adam whispered, squeezing Ronan’s hand as he said it. “It’s not your fault, and it’s going to be okay. You’re alive; you’re going to be okay.”  
There was a long, long moment, then, where neither of them said anything; Ronan kept still, and Adam kept listening to his heart. Then, very slowly, Ronan moved his free hand, pressing two fingers to the inside of Adam’s wrist.

Adam let out a breath that almost could have been a laugh, on a different day. He added, “I’m alive, and I’m going to be okay, too.”


End file.
